THe funniest people in the world are sometimes the smartest. Here is a geek Cramer vs. funny man Stewart. I hope the world knows that the smart people are able to make the connections, see the big picture and often make the complex seem simple. So enjoy some more comedy! Enjoy the funny people in your world, they often laugh their way to the bank, so get a sense of humor.

Yes, I always wanted to be Indiana Jones or 007.   Here are some of the more adventurous things I have done.  From these adventures, I have been to over 60 countries and all 50 states.

1. Completing MBA from Thunderbird, #1 in International Business
2. Flight wing touched pavement in Detroit and skidded the plane to a halt
3. Sailed a Rainbow 24 to Bareboat Sailing Certification at Annapolis Sailing School
4. Surfed North Beach, Hawaii
5. On boat that navigated 100 foot swells on the Pacific Ocean
6. Took Private Pilots Lessons
7. Rolled a Golf Cart in Mexico
8. Dove off a 80 foot bridge in Maine
9. Season Skiing Pass to Telluride
10. Climbed Mount Washington, highest peak on East Coast
11. Solo Skydive over Arizona, parachute caught under arm spinning me out of control
12. Smoked an Herb with a Bushman Chief in South Africa out of an Oryx bone
13. Sat on the Taj Majal for a sunrise
14. Completed PADI Scuba Diving Certification on Seal Island in Baja, California
15. Experienced complete darkness half way between Brazil and South Africa, mid-Atlantic
16. Crossed over a broken bridge on Taroko Gorge in Taiwan during an Earthquake
17. Skied the moguls at Killington, Vermont
18. Sang and danced the Shabby Blue on stage in a Nightclub in Taipei
19. Celebrated New Years in Times Square with Dick Clark literally
20. Played $1,000 a hand blackjack in Vegas
21. Spoke on the same stage as the Dalai Lama, Keynote for Global Sales Conference
22. Tossed dynamite out of a pickup in Mexico blowing holes in the side of the desert
23. Hitch hiked from Osaka to Tokyo and took a free Bullet train back with a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader
24. Played soccer with a semi-pro Central American team
25. Signed Dan Marino’s autograph more than once
26. Took the midnight train from Nairobi to Mombassa, Kenya
27. Drove a car at 160 mph, motorcycle at 140 mph, train at 200 mph and flown over 200 mph
28. Walked several miles of the Great Wall of China
29. Won a walking race in Washington DC, #1 in my age category
30. Visited Tuscany with wife, driving a Fiat village to village
31. Completed Rapport Leadership, Landmark, Goal Achievers and PSI Seminars leadership development programs
32. Attended the Indy 500 and Brickyard 400, pit pass to Indy
33. Walked the beach and temples in Pondicherry, India
34. Danced on the rooftops of Chicago
35. Performed a Standup Comedian act with standing ovation (think Tony Little on Steroids)
36. Watched a Grizzly Bear jump into a Mini-van to get some marshmallows
37. Went to Oakland Raiders game with a Green Bay Packer Jersey on, survived running for exit
38. Jumped dirt bike across creek
39. Survived driving in Rome, Italy
40. Held a few infamous parties: Daytona, Cat House, and Arizona Pool Party.  If you were there, you know
41. Ate every kind of meat you can think of at the Carnivore Cafe in Nairobi, Kenya
42. Wine Tours in Argentina, Australia, South Africa, Napa, Santa Barbara, Italy and France.
43. Visited the Pyramid of the Sun and Moon at Teotuhuacan
44. Completed several 10k and mini-marathons and soon a marathon and triathlon races
45. Ate crab for the first time on the Mekong delta, Vietnam
46. Completed a Master of Arts in Latin American Studies
47. Was in an Earthquake in Taiwan, boulders trapped our car
48. Buried Jeep in several feet of mud off-roading
49. Escaped pirates off the coast of Malaysia and Thailand aboard SS Universe
50. Attended the Kentucky Derby and Breeders Cup
51. Spent the night in Juvenile Hall, my record is expunged now, clean as a whistle
52. Swam in 140 degree Volcano Water near Quetzaltenango, Guatemala
53. Drove Corvette around corner at 110 mph at Bondurant Race School
54. Stood 5 feet from a wild Buffalo in Yellowstone NP
55. Negotiated Penthouse Suite for family at Resorts International, Atlantic City at age 12.
56. Celebrated Carnival in San Salvador, Brazil
57. Sailed Sydney Harbor with the Sydney Yacht Club membership
58. Visited abandoned palace of monkeys in rural Jaipur, India
59. White Water rafted level 5 rapids on the Gauley in West Virginia
60. Had a gun pulled on my twice, both times gun went off in different direction
61. Completed executive education at Harvard, Stanford, Columbia and the Geneva Institute.
62. Slept in a tree on an Africa Safari, while herds of animals moved under me all night
63. Took a zip line over 1,000 feet down
64. At the 7th game of the 2001 World Series when the Diamondbacks beat the Yankees
65. Spent weekend doing community service in Emergency Room helping with triage
66. In high school, hung out with a friendly gang called the “40 ounce crew”
67. Car was attacked by an aggressive mob of monkeys in Tanzania
68. Completed low and high ropes courses near Clear Lake in Northern California and also in Nevada Desert near Area 51
69. Played in an International Basketball game against the India National B team
70. Shot skeet first time
71. Visited Mayan ruins in Tecal, Guatemala
72. MVP of Tri-State College Soccer Tournament, 6 goals 9 assist, had pneumonia that weekend
73. Walked across the top of the Sydney Harbor Bridge
74. Participated in a folk Catholicism ceremony in rural Brazilian town
75. Crash landed a Cesna airplane into a winery in South Africa
76. Visited a German settlement in mountains of Venezuela
77. Saved wife from undertow in Bali, Indonesia on our honeymoon
78. Traded a few dozen Bic pens for a life sized wooden carved Masai warrior
79. Got lost in Tiananmen Square, Beijing, China
80. Island hopped outside San Salvador, Brazil
81. Went to Final 4 in coed Volleyball tournament in Daytona Beach, Florida
82. Camped with a group of Deer at a park in Nara, Japan, litterly leaned up against a wild deer.
83. Sat at same table with John Cougar Mellencamp in Bloomington, Indiana enjoying some of his live music
84. Dated Runner-up Miss Guatemala for 2 weeks, then chased out of Guatemala by Military Guerrilla’s, long story
85. Blew glass with a famous glass maker in Venezuela
86. Hitch hiked Europe for 3 weeks for $1,000.
87. Went to the Masters golf tournament in 2004
88. Watched the “aurora borealis” dance across the sky while sailing in Bering Straight in Alaska
89. Climbed Four Peaks in 4 foot of snow
90. Rappelled down a cliff in Northern California
91. Had deer jump over car driving on an Indiana highway
92. Chased by a bear in Kings Canyon National Park
93. Sat in isolation for 48 hours in California wilderness, ask me about the hummingbird and snakes
94. Crashed the 1996 International Wine Convention in Barcelona Spain, with Press Credentials
95. Visited the worlds smallest volcano, Taal in Tagatay, Philippines
96. Took off and landed in a sea plane
97. Ate live drunken shrimp at fine Hong Kong dinner
98. Partied with David Bowie and Iman in Cape Town, South Africa
99. Laughed for 6 weeks at Accenture Boot Camp at the St. Charles campus.  Thanks to Tariq Afeef and Ynzo Van Zanten!
100. Sailed a yacht in Hawaii while a Whale swam back and fourth under the boat blowing water upwards
101. Participated in the birth of my daughter Bali

Thanks for sharing a walk down memory lane, I have been blessed and look forward to the next 100 outstanding adventures.   Each brings a grin, smile and chuckle.    I hope you make a list of your own.

Next up:

1. Dubai, United Arab Emirates
2. Hyper Island, Sweden
3. Santiago, Chile
4. Cuzco and Macchu Pichu, Peru
5. The Great Pyramids of Egypt
6. Petra in Jordan
7. The City of Jerusalem
8. The tomato festival and run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain
9. Antarctica - the last frontier
10. Cruise the Caribbean and Mediterranean

http://www.youtube.com/experiencewii

Here is an innovative advertisement.    Pay close attention to YouTube.

1. Don’t tell the reader that something is funny. Let the reader discover this for himself. Do this by painting a picture with words that the reader can relate to with all five of his senses. Describe the smells, textures, tastes, sights, and sounds.

As the writer, ask yourself how, why, who, when, and where, as you describe a character or situation. Tell the reader how something smells, tastes, feels, looks, and sounds. Describe why something smells, tastes, feels, looks, and sounds the way it does. And so on. Certainly you, the writer, don’t have to address all of these questions, but by doing so, you will cover all the potential bases toward painting the best picture possible.

In Hamlet, Hamlet tells Horatio of his dead friend, Yorick. As he describes his friend to Horatio, Hamlet holds the skull of Yorick in his hand. “Here hung those lips that I have kiss’d I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?” In this example, Shakespeare uses Hamlet to bring Yorick alive for the reader. The reader can almost see Hamlet holding the skull in his hand; additionally, the reader can hear the “roar” of laughter from the guests at the table as Hamlet describes Yorick singing or telling a funny story. Shakespeare creates images using words that stir the reader’s senses, evoking emotions in the reader as well.

We aren’t any of us Shakespeare, nor do many of us want to be. If your character gets hit in the face with a pie, it may or may not be funny. If your character gets hit in the face with a lemon pie, with yellow, gooey blobs of meringue dripping from his chin and snowy drifts of whipped cream sticking from his ears, this paints a picture for the reader that is more likely to be perceived as whimsical. If the pie “splats” across his face, sending wafts of tangy-sweet lemon scent, along with a bit of graham cracker crust, up his nose as he sticks out his eager tongue to bring home the cheek-puckering flavor — this is a hoot. Now the reader can smell, feel, taste, see, and hear that pie.

2. Use metaphors and similes that bring familiar images into your reader’s mind. Used effectively, metaphors and similes say volumes with a few words. A metaphor is a figure of speech using a word or phrase that usually means one thing to refer to something else. Such as Shakespeare’s metaphor, “All the world’s a stage,” said by Jacques in As You Like It. Using this metaphor, this character reflects on how people behave. Shakespeare uses the metaphor to paint an image of a stage in the reader’s mind.

Metaphors, such as “his driveway doesn’t go all the way to the street,” can paint a funny image in the reader’s mind of a not-all-there person. Everyone has met someone like this, so the reader can relate to such a metaphor.

A simile is a figure of speech in which the writer compares two unlike items, usually using the word “like” or “as”. Shakespeare’s simile, “I am constant as the northern star,” spoken by Caesar in Julius Caesar, compares Caesar’s strong will to the brightest star in the sky.

The simile, “we were wrestling around like two pigs in the mud, only he was enjoying it and I was just getting dirty,” shows, not just tells the reader about, a funny situation.

3. Blending description, metaphors, and similes with dialogue is another way for the writer to expand his medium. Metaphors in a dialogue can add a humorous flavor of their own to the story or character. Such as one character might comment using a metaphor, “The squeaky wheel gets oiled.” The other character responds with another metaphor, “And the quacking ducks gets shot!”

Similes can be funny in their own right, and added to a humorous situation can make it even funnier, such as, “I’m happy as a mosquito in a nudist colony,” creates a humorous image in the reader’s mind.

4. Words that portray movement are yet another way the writer can paint a funny picture for the reader. A character that is moving, like an actor on a stage, has more potential for hilarity than one that is not moving. Using action verbs, the writer can create a jovial image and elicit amusement from his reader such as in this example from a helicopter student learning to hover. “I madly made exaggerated corrections with the cyclic. We zigged crazily in mid zag, then zagged wildly in mid zig.”

5. Colorful adjectives help the writer paint the exact image he wants the reader to experience. Keep a dictionary and thesaurus handy to look up adjectives that will spice up your writing. If the writer describes “a cow,” the reader is left to color in the cow on his own. Use adjectives to describe all five senses as you paint a picture with words. “She was not just a cow but a sauntering bovine beauty with chocolate-bar swirls of milky browns and milk-shake white on a suede background — the most delicious contented cud-chewer I’d ever seen.”

6. Find new ways to say the same old thing. Was the woman large? Or does she look like she’s built for comfort rather than speed? Was the man skinny? Or did he have to run around in the shower just to get wet?

7. Satire and irony add humor to the written story also. Irony is the use of words to express the opposite of their literal meaning. Satire is the use of irony or wit to attack something. Be careful with satire and irony; a writer can easily miss his mark, leaving the reader confused.

Summary: Remember to paint that picture using all five senses. Add a metaphor or two, a few similes, action verbs, and colorful adjectives.

You may not be the next William Shakespeare when it comes to comedy, but you may amuse yourself with your newly honed talent. Whether you choose dry humor, pleasant humor, slapstick, or satire, you may find you’re a laugh a minute on the written page!

“10 habits of highly successful improv comics”

1. Always agree (YES!) Never deny
2. Don’t ask questions
3. LISTEN!
4. Add information, not filler
5. Eye contact!
6. Use Spacework
7. Avoid arguments
8. Don’t be static ‘talking heads’
9. Let go! Try something new
10. Never be drunk, drugged, in an altered state

Also, good habit for dynamic leaders…

Available on MIT Open Course Ware.